Actress, Nun, Prostitute

When I was little I wanted to be one of three things. An actress, a nun, or a prostitute. One day I told my mom that I wanted to be a nun and she said "you can't, we're not Catholic". I was crushed.

As a young adult I did vocational testing. The results said that I should be a diorama maker, a sculptor, or a person in the ministry. This was in an era of an abundance of low entry office work positions. Soon to dry up.

Throughout my life I have had people confide in me with major life issues. For example: people wanting to leave their spouses; spouses trying to kill them; and dealing with past rape. As well as living with mental illness and struggling with suicide attempts. I realized that I was an excellent listener and problem solver. At the age of thirty I decided to go back to school for my Social Service Worker Diploma. The week I graduated Premier Bob Ray cut one third of all Social Service Agencies. I took some Social Work University courses but it was back to menial office work which was as I stated soon to dry up.

I took six month computer courses in between jobs. I adored the courses and excelled. The first is where I ran into to major problems without even knowing it. Our instructor, as I found out later, had me pegged from the start. I was bright and inquisitive and finished my work first and went on to help others in the class. One day she told me that there was a meeting with her, me and the administrator. At the meeting she broke down into tears and said that she felt threatened by me. I was totally perplexed. It seemed that she was struggling to understand and present the material and I was zipping through it and saying that it was easy. I meant no harm by it. I was absolutely unaware of the situation. Back to filing.

In my late thirties I was hired for a sales position. I knew it wouldn't work and they figured that out as well but they put me to use teaching some staff about computer programs. When I was through with that they moved me to engineering and taught me AutoCAD and I spent my days happily doodling on the computer doing grunt work. Until, until I had a breakdown. Then they wanted to fire me.

Fast forward a bit. I was deemed unable to work and put on permanent disability. At that time you were not allowed to volunteer if you were on disability. When I was up to it I disregarded that and started volunteering with the Canadian Mental Health Association. I loved volunteering. Can you guess what happened? After so many years they discontinued their volunteering program. I didn't go back to filing.

With the help of my then boyfriend we struck out on our own. Until I had a breakdown.

I am still recovering. I have in mind a group I would like to start but that will get under way when I am completely able. So I bring us full circle. Did I become an actress? No. A nun? No, although I did have an appointment with the nunnery but there was a massive snow storm that day and I didn't make it. A prostitute? I think I'd have to give half of what I made to disability. No.

Thinking good thoughts, Lisa