Yes, I am an evil person. I have no mercy where telemarketers are concerned. I rationalize this by saying that at least the telemarketer will have an interesting story to tell their co-workers.
When we bought our new house we got a lot of calls from window companies. One time I said "Oh, this house cost us a lot of money and we couldn't afford everything, we didn't have windows put in."
When the newspaper phoned I pretended I couldn't hear well and kept saying hello louder and louder. The telemarketer got louder and louder to until I shouted "I know you! You're the one who's been stalking me!" I slammed the phone down.
When the lawn company phoned I said "Oh, our kids love basketball so much, when we bought this house I had everything paved over."
Sometimes I speak in a thick East European accent and laugh "me no know".
Sometimes they ask for Mr. So and so and I deadpan how he died eight months ago.
When it's duct cleaning I say that I live in an apartment.
But I finally did what I always wanted to do. I said "I'm so glad you phoned. What's your name? Say do you have twenty minutes? I'm so lonely..."
Evil? You decide.
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